Painful

Is it rain falling on my window
Or am I crying again on my own?
Is it sadness that I feel in my heart?
Or am I still hard as a stone?

I am not happy. I am not mad.
I am just wishing for it not to be true.
I am not willing for me to come back.
I am just trying to understand you.

Is it pain that I feel on my chest?
Or are these feelings I cannot describe?
Is it wishes for me to feel that
I am not lonely: you are on my side?

I am not runing. I am not crying.
I am not forgeting all the things I've done.
I am not begging. I am not fighting.
I am just wishing that you were the one.

Is it crazy to try to find love,
In the arms of ones I do not know?
It is madness, it is foolish.
I have just realized I'm here on my own.